Any man who wants to cast shade on my voluminous lipstick-wearing habit better just bite his lip. I don’t wear it for you, my cheeky bare-mouthed brother. I wear it for me.
Please don’t pout. We women have enjoyed coloring our kissers for more than 7,000 years, dating back to when our Sumerian sisters rocked some pretty-yet-primitive lip paint they made from crushed gemstones.
As all true suckers-for-the-perfect-pucker-cover fans will attest, nothing elevates our mood or boosts our confidence quite like wearing that quintessential shade of lipstick. Not lip gloss, not tinted Chap Stick, not those sticky little shimmer sticks with a “hint of color” that force us to pull strands of loose hair off of our mouths all day. No — what we want is luminous, grown-up-girl color. And then watch out world, because we are on.
As Coco Chanel, that queen of Parisian haute couture and the consummate lip-coloring capitalist once said, “If you’re sad, add more lipstick and attack.”
A side note to my sister-in-law, Audrey, who is to be recognized forever as the one who introduced me to my first tube of Chanel’s Rouge Allure Intense Lip Color — to which my husband, Jeff, says, “Thanks?”
The concept is hard to explain to the non-lipstick wearers amongst us — and, seriously, I feel sorry for that half of the population that has never experienced the euphoria of finding the perfect shade of lipstick.
Of course, they will also never know the despair of having that perfect shade discontinued, nor the agony of going through tube after tube of almost-but-not-quite-right hues, spending time and money looking for Mrs. Right-Rouge only to end up once again with Mrs. Wrong-Rebound-Red, while heart wrenchingly scouring the internet for support and advice from other girls who were also ghosted by their I-thought-it-was-forever favorite lipstick.
So, there’s that.
It’s not just the color that thrills us. It’s the experience. High-end cosmetic companies have a reason that they package their products in weighty, luxurious-looking lipstick tubes. We want that heaviness in our hands; that click of the top coming off; that creamy, waxy smell as we swivel up, position our lips, and anticipate the first swipe of color.
And wow — that first swipe is a rush. The mere act of looking in the mirror and watching as our lips go from dull, nothing-special arches to vibrant, color-drenched bows, and then doing the obligatory pucker-and-blot our mothers taught us to do, is a generational ritual, and it makes us feel connected, confident, bold, and beautiful.
It is smear genius.
And it’s not just a pigment of our imagination. Numerous studies have confirmed that lipstick can elevate both mood and confidence. Even those who are struggling with serious health issues feel stronger and more optimistic when a little color is applied to their cheeks and mouth.
Audrey Hepburn was right; “On a bad day, there’s always lipstick.”
While I suspect that women have always enjoyed coloring their lips, society has not always looked favorably upon our fashionably tinted mouths. The Ancient Egyptians loved their lip stains, believing that the paint had healing powers, but the Ancient Romans did not. It’s possible the Romans were just disgusted by the ingredients used in Egyptian lipstick — saliva, red wine, sheep sweat, and crocodile feces — but since the Romans were fond of rotting intestines and peacock tongues, I’m not sure they were in a position to judge.
During the Middle Ages, women who wore lipstick were considered wicked and ill-bred, so not until the reign of Queen Elizabeth I did lipstick begin to shine. In fact, Queen Elizabeth was so fond of her lip paint, because nothing sets off excessive lead ladened white face powder quite like bright red lips, the masses quickly followed suit, sometimes even using lipstick as currency.
Unfortunately, like many other enjoyable activities, Queen Victoria considered makeup to be immoral and imposed a complete ban on all cosmetics, including lipstick. However, some women, unable to resist the lure of a beautifully painted mouth, formed “underground lip rouge societies” in which they exchanged lipstick ingredients and recipes to be made at home.
Lipstick has always been considered somewhat daring and rebellious. The suffragettes, marching for women’s rights in the early 1900s, wore red lipstick as a sign of resistance and freedom, and it is rumored that Elizabeth Arden herself donated the lipstick to these courageous women as a show of support and solidarity.
Life is short, ladies, so we might as well make it pop.
As Elizabeth Taylor said, “Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.”
